I just stumbled across something I wrote about a year ago.  I went to visit my daughter at college.  She had a paper to write and I was bored so I picked up something off of her bed and just started reading.  There were 3 versions of Little Red Riding Hood.  The first was “The Story of Grandmother” by Paul Delarue.  The second, “Little Red Riding Hood” by Charles Perrault and Finally, “Little Red Cap” by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm.  I hadn’t written anything in ages but after reading the three versions of the story I sat down and wrote my own version of the story in about 10 minutes time.  I had forgotten, briefly, that I had writer’s block.  I just wrote the story and copied it to email for my daughter and saved it to my hard drive and forgot about it until today.

<WARNING> The story is not a fairy tale for children.  I’m giving it a NC17 rating.

Little Red, Riding ‘Round the Hood

There once was a little girl who loved the color red.  She loved the color red so much that everything she wore was red, all of her toys had to be red and even the bike she rode was red.

One day Little Red was riding ‘round the hood on her way to Grandma’s house when she came upon a wolf.  The wolf was very well dressed and spoke with an air of authority so that Little Red answered all of his questions very politely and very thoroughly.

“Where are you going today, Little Red” asked the wolf while checking his image in the rear view mirror of his shiny red sports car.  “I’m off to Grandma’s house” replied the girl, “to deliver some pot from Mom.”  “Oh,” said the wolf, sincerely, “why don’t you come with me to my place first?  I’ve got some stuff your grandma might like even better.”

“What should I do with my bike?” asked Little Red “Just leave it here.  You won’t be in need of it anymore” assured the wolf.

So Little Red, not wishing to disobey an elder, followed the wolf to his penthouse on the top floor.    The wolf bolted the door behind her as she entered but Little Red was too busy noticing the plasma TV and the overstuffed leather sofas to be bothered.

“My, what a big TV you have” said Little Red.

“All the better to watch porn” replied the wolf.

“My, what glimmering crystal you have” admired the girl.

“All the better to drink Champaign” cooed the wolf.

“My, what a lumpy bed you have” queried Little Red.

“All the better to stuff away my money” persuaded the wolf.

Forgetting all about Grandma’s house, Little Red made a fire and turned down the sheets while the wolf poured Champaign into the glimmering crystal glasses.  “Where should I put my clothes” asked Little Red?  “Just throw them on the floor said the wolf.  The maid will pick them up in the morning.”

Little Red found her spot in the lumpy bed and allowed herself to be devoured by the wolf.  For hours Little Red screamed and begged and thrashed about and called out for God until the wolf, finally, had his fill and fell sound asleep.

Not being the least bit sleepy, but more than a little hungry, she went into the kitchen only to find nothing more than some two-week old Chinese in the carton and some stale bread.  Red returned to the bedroom and retrieved the wolf’s keys and a fist full of money.

On her journey through the market, Little Red purchased a stunning red coat with a hood.  How could she resist?  After all, it went so well with the gold and diamonds and the Christian Dior sun glasses.





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